hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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