I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
