you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize