She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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