Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
