redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize