She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
