I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
