:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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