I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
