Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
