Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
