apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
