I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
