Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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