It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
