Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize