Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
