What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
