Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
did i walk over a car last night?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
