ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
