all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
