I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
