do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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