you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
