He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize