She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
