I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
