Don't make out with my wife yet
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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