what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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