our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
