ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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