do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
