im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
