You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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