I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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