I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
