And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize