I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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