When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
