do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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