He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
