I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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