What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
