I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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