theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
