I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
