He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
