I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
