took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
