Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
