"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I touched a dick in church today
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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