I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
