they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
