And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
