Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I lost the right to judge tonight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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