Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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