Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize