Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize