I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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