If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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